As some of you know, I am in the market for a new pediatrician.  It seems that when you are having the baby, the resources and referrals to find the baby’s doctor are everywhere.  Your ob/gyn refers, the hospital at which you deliver refers and friends and family refer.  But now, I’m finding that it’s difficult to know where and how to shop for a doc.  The problem is that I’m seeking the kind of “family doctor” I had with my original pediatrician — one who is always there for you, watched the boys grow up, knows their interests, their personalities, etc.  I’m also struggling with whether it’s a pediatrician I’m seeking, or knowing that the boys are on the brink of adolescence, an adolescent medicine specialist or just a family physician who the boys can see into perpetuity — except one child isn’t yet 10 and needs some of that pediatric care.   It’s a dilemma fueled a bit by the fact that I know too much about the healthcare system and know too well all the options before me.  I truly long for the days when there were a handful of doctors in a town and every one went to one of them! And, everyone had an opinion as to who you should see. Much simpler.  Ironically, when we needed an orthodontist, everyone we spoke with had a recommendation.  Not so the pediatrician.  Strange.

So, I’m mulling this dilemma in my head on my way to work this morning because I know we have to get camp medical forms completed.  I’m listening to NPR and there’s an interview with a physician and a consumer advocate about how to use physician and hospital ranking information to choose your medical care.  I’m waiting for them to tell me the things to look for — or even where to look — to no avail.  But, when I got to work I looked up one of the people being interviewed and her organization, Americans for Quality Care www.qualitycarenow.org, a group associated with the National Partnership for Women and Families and funded in part by the Robert Woods Johnson Foundation.  The site is interesting.  It certainly makes the case for why we should comparison shop, showcasing that more people die from medical mistakes than breast cancer!  But, it is a little short on help.  I visited the resources listed to try and find some of the doctors recommended to me….unfortunately, I learned little.  You see, not all states have to list information on the public databases.  New Jersey doesn’t.  So, I went on the New Jersey site.  I found my former pediatrician.  The good news is that she has no complaints to the accreditation board.  Of course, no where does it mention that she’s deceased, either.  The Americans for Quality Care would be doing us a service if they had simple checklists that outlined things to look for in a physician and compared that with the metrics  that inform the quality rankings.  Honestly, I know a bit about the quality rankings and found the information on the site a bit confusing…what about those for whom this is new information?

There are physician ranking sites to consider such as www.vitals.com (full disclosure, they are a client of the my employer).  These sites aggregate information from the public records and databases that provide quality rankings.  Some allow you, the consumer of health services, to provide information about a physician based on your own experience.  While this is highly subjective information, I’m beginning to feel like it’s critical that we as patients and consumers of healthcare populate such sites with whatever information — good or bad — we can share with each other.

We have no problem recommending restaurants, pre-schools or hair stylists but tend to be reticent to recommend health professionals.  I understand why — there’s so much  more at stake. And yet, that’s exactly why we should.

I’m really disappointed that the Democratic primary has come down to a perceived question of gender.  Some in the Clinton camp are claiming that gender bias is the stumbling block and I have no doubt that if the Obama campaign were in a similar place, race would be considered the stumbling block.  And, maybe I’m naive and gender and race really are the issues…but I don’t think so.  I think it’s easier to cry bias than it is to look at one’s mistakes.

Throughout my career, I’ve heard women bemoan the act that they didn’t get a promotion or job because they weren’t men.  It was not unusual for me to be familiar with the quality of their work and leadership and could see that being a woman had nothing to do with their lack of advancement.  There was always something else to point to as a barrier to their growth.

Sadly, I have used that excuse myself when I didn’t get promotions or positions I thought I deserved.  But, later in the harsh light of self-reflection realized that perhaps it wasn’t my gender that was the barrier but how I handled certain situations…a certain level of directness or lack of tact that may have had my managers concerned about my ability to lead.

Now, some would say, “but if you were a man, that lack of tact would be okay.”  Maybe.  Maybe not.  I know many men who have not achieved leadership positions because of that very issue. I also know men who are tactless but brilliant leaders, successful because of their ability to lead despite their lack of diplomacy.  It’s never quite that clear cut.

Yes, I know gender bias happens.  Just like racial bias happens.  But, there’s lots of progress.  Today’s New York Times Economic Scene column Economic Scene: A Diploma’s Worth? Ask Her talks about how women have closed and even surpassed the educational gap and through that continue to close the pay gap.  The article also talks about the fact that the pay gap may not be entirely reflective of gender…women after all, are still more likely to choose jobs that offer flexibility to enable them to be available for child care (not always by choice, but often by choice).   So the gender gap is there but not entirely because of gender.

Bias exists.  Bias can be a barrier.  But, bias is rarely the sole answer to the question “Why not me?”  And, bias can be overcome.

Hard work, sensitivity to others and learning from your mistakes are more likely to garner growth than anything else.  It’s much easier to point to that which we can’t control vs. what we may have been able to do differently when we are disappointed in our aspirations.

So, the next time I’m tempted to think ”it’s because I’m a women” I’ll focus on something far easier to change!

Moms are, generally, multitaskers.  We wrap birthday presents while talking on the phone, work on powerpoint presentations while on conference calls, catch up on emails while listening to tuba concerts missed while traveling (yes, my husband actually recorded the whole concert to my voicemail.)  And, we’re pretty good at the multitask.  So good, that we may have lost some of our ability to focus.  But, I hate to say this, as gifted as we are at the multitask, some of us may be multitasking to procrastinate working through the really hard stuff.  

This weekend, Blue Ranger had the same problem disney.go.com/jetix/powerrangers.   Throughout his life, Blue Ranger had been recognized and rewarded for how much he could get done.  People admired his ability to do well in school, hold down after school jobs and make a mean pizza sauce all while honing his super-hero Power Ranger skills.  However, when the Power Rangers needed his particular skills to defeat the monsters of the moment, he went into big time avoidance mode…by multitasking everything but the thing that required his greatest thought.  The Power Ranger Master (who is a hamster, by the way, through some odd genetic quirk), was losing patience with Blue Ranger.

I found myself feeling sorry for Blue Ranger.  Hamster Master obviously doesn’t understand.  How can one possibly take the time to think through the solutions to the really difficult problems when we have to help with homework, find the jeans that have gone missing, deal with work brought home over the weekend, reorder the books on the book shelf and never mind find time to do something about our roots (the ones on our head, not our ancestors)?

And frankly, I was a little miffed with the Hamster Master when he pointed out that Blue Ranger’s multitasking was getting in the way of putting his energy where it was most needed.  In fact, he made multitasking a metaphor for procrastination (which is a life lesson a 5 year-old needs to learn why?).

But then I stopped looking for the jeans while pretending to do Pilates and grudgingly admitted that maybe Hamster Master had a point.  I thought about the item that never gets crossed off my to-do list and frankly, it’s a big thorny item that requires me to focus, think, do some research and think some more.  It’s been on the to-do list for a long while, because I’ve been “too busy to think.” 

Part of what it requires is that I sit, give some people my full attention and listen with no distractions.    I thought about how I have tried to approach the task in the past…I’d start, then answer the phone.  I’d do web research while on conference calls.  I’d get input from others while working on my blackberry (which is also fairly rude…).  No wonder I never figured out the answer.  No matter how good you are at the multitask, you can’t give something your full attention if you’re doing something else.  Our brains are simply not wired that way.

I’m proud of the Blue Ranger…in the end, he focused and defeated the monsters, earning Hamster Master’s respect and a new belief in his own powers. 

And now, I’ve turned off the phone, stepped away from email and have carved out a full hour to do nothing…so I can cross my monster of the to-do list once and for all.

Authenticity n. 1.  The quality of being authentic or of established authority for truth and correctness.  2. Genuineness; the quality of being genuine or not corrupted from the original (Source: Webster’s Revised Unabrideged Dictionary)

When does a philosophy become a buzz word?  When does a buzz word become a cliche?  It’s clear that “authentic” is the hot mantra in marketing these days.  Just think Harley.  Dove and Real Beauty.  

Starbucks realized it was losing its authenticity with all of its non-coffee experiences and retrenched to regain its authenticity.  There’s a book about authenticity (www.authenticitybook.com) that talks about who is, who isn’t among brands.  And recently, a public relations firm made the major announcement that they were going to reorganize their business around authenticity.  

I thought the point of authenticity was that it was, well, authentic — how do you make yourself more authentic? After all, you either are or aren’t…authentic, that is.   It’s very confusing.  And frankly, disturbing.  Because now that our culture is adopting authenticity as the term of the moment…it will become meaningless. 

To me, there’s no real magic — or marketing — in doing what you say you will do, playing to your strengths and originality and delivering on your promises.  Finding that truth in products, companies and services is how reputation is built and maintained.  And, yes, it better be authentic…because if not, your brand will erode, your reputation will tarnish and your business will suffer.  Helping companies and organizations find that truth and communicating it in ways that will enable individuals to identify personal relevance and connection is the job of good and responsible marketing communications. 

But here’s the thing…the minute you tell me you’re authentic…I have to wonder.

After a successful 3rd grade championship basketball game (yes, there are an awful lot of them), a friend on the opposing team told my little guy…”your team shouldn’t have won, you carried them.” 

My son was all kinds of upset because he thought his friend has insulted him….he had no idea what “you carried them” meant.  I explained it to him and he was silent for a moment and then said, “So Mom, if I don’t know if someone is being mean or nice, I should just think they’re being nice.”  Wise beyond his years, I brag. 

Of course, I agreed.  He’s nine, after all, and the world is more nice than not so why not assume the best?  

Indra Nooyi, Chairman and CEO of Pepsico agrees.  In the current issue of Fortune (5/12/08), the “Best Advice Issue,” Ms. Nooyi reports that her best advice came from her father.  He encouraged her to always assume positive intent.  It limits the likelihood of defensiveness.  It opens you up to new ideas and potential solutions.  It prevents you from expending negative energy worrying about why someone else is being purposely negative.

My nine-year-old and Ms. Nooyi’s father are lucky to have rose-colored filters.  But, even for those of us who need to be reminded that the glass is also half full, their advice is welcome. 

Now, I’m not known for my lack of cynicism.  And, I suppose, some could say I see shadows where there aren’t any.  And, okay, defensiveness has been in my arsenal…alot.  But, within the last few years, I’ve realized that it’s much easier to look for the postive intent than to analyze the negativity, intended or otherwise.  I’m more productive when I’m open and receptive to those who mean no harm.  And, here’s a secret weapon…receptivity is disarming to those who do have malintent. 

I have found work to be easier, relationships to come more quickly, other people’s defenses to come down more rapidly and trust to build more easily — both professionally and personally – simply by assuming positive intent. 

So to Ms. Nooyi’s father and my nine-year-old…thanks for the advice…and its positive intent.

I hate finding things out after the fact. I hate bad news but really hate having bad news withheld. Recently, I had two experiences that demonstrate how communications and inclusion can impact perceptions – and “sales.”

My pediatrician died in August. I found out last week when I left a message for her via her service when my 11-year-old had a continuous fever of 103°. When I asked to get a call back from our physician of 11 years, the operator said, “Oh, Dr. S will call you back because your doctor, Dr. P, died.” WHAT?!?!? Shocking news to hear about the loss of someone I trusted and relied upon for more than 10 years. And , what a way to hear it?!? This did explain why, despite calling the office, we never heard back about some tests my son had taken in August – we just assumed it was good news because if there was ever anything to worry about Dr. P was in touch.

Okay, so it turned out my son did need to see the doctor and we saw Dr. S. But, when we told her we were shocked and saddened to learn about Dr. P, she brushed it off and said we should have been in touch with the office earlier. Why? My children had their check-ups in August and (knock wood) were generally healthy until my son contracted strep last week . Her attitude was odd…not rude, simply dismissive. Suffice it to say, we’re in the market for a new pediatrician.

Recently, I took a Continental airlines flight in the evening westward bound. The 5:15 p.m. flight boarded on time but, during the boarding process, the pilots noted a mechanical issue. They alerted us, they told us what they were doing about it and kept us informed. We ended up having to switch planes and when we deplaned and loitered in the gate area waiting for our next step, the airline personnel gave us an update every 5-10 minutes. No one was happy with the delay, but everyone could see that the Continental Airlines staff was doing their best to keep us informed. I heard people griping about Continental Airlines post-flight (which took off at around 8:45 p.m.) but I thought the airline did a good job. Problems will occur, mistakes will happen and all we can do is fix them and be transparent. That’s what Continental Airlines did.

I once had a client who manufactured a medication for people with a serious, progressive and painful disease. Before they even started to market the medication, they talked to the potential patients, considered their point of view and incorporated their thinking into their educational and marketing efforts, even if it wasn’t always advantageous to the company. Because of this, when they had some inevitable, unavoidable manufacturing issues that prevented them from shipping as much medication as the market needed, the market stayed supportive of them.

People can hear bad news when it’s delivered in a timely, respectful way. It’s something to think about the next time you have something uncomfortable to tell employees and customers…even the kids.