Yesterday was my friend’s birthday — I always remember it because it falls two days before mine.  As is typical with this very busy friend — who used to be my boss — we scheduled a lunch to celebrate our mutual birthdays but, guess what, we had to reschedule.  This time it was my fault — a client need.  But, it could just as easily have gone the other way.  But, here’s what I would have told her had I been able to see her…

I loved working with you…most days.  You were enthusiastic…I mean truly excited about every single opportunity and decision we needed to make.  I didn’t always understand why we needed to care as much about the color of a brochure as we did about a client’s true crisis but you seemed to care equally and passionately about it all.  That passion was infectious.  It kept me on my toes and made me try harder…sometimes, just to impress you!  The days that I didn’t enjoy were more about me being uncertain that I could live up to those expectations.  Yo always seemed to cavalierly believe that people would align behind an idea and achieve success and that I’d be able to get them there.  I just never had the same confidence.  It always seemed so hard to negotiate priorities.  And, frankly, I hated that I might have to compromise to make something work. 

I was thinking about you the other day — birthdays aside — when I was listenting to a colleague’s righteous indignation about a situation in our current workplace.  One that we can handle — through compromise and negotiation — even though we shouldn’t HAVE to handle it that way.  I am certain that the look on my face throughout was exactly how you used to look at me.  Amused tolerance.  You always let me rant about what should be but then took me to an alternate place.  Frankly, it used to drive me crazy!  Why was it so easy for you and so much harder for me to let go of what should be?

Because you didn’t waste your passion on the uncontrollable. 

I think you taught me that by focusing our energy on those things we can impact — the color of the brochure or the content of our counsel to a client — we have reservoirs of passion to unleash on the rest of our lives.  And, when I remember, it’s much more fun your way.

Happy birthday, my friend…many more.